Red Hot Wild Women Writers answer sizzling and sane questions!!!

Aloha everyone! I'm very happy to announce that 6 of us RED HOT women writers have teamed up with our Publisher MuseItUp. There are 6 hot to trot, romance erotica books in one bundle. Good value for the holidays! And it's fun for all of us to get together and share our stories with you :-) Ruby will be joining us on Part 2 of this blog when we'll have more sizzling and sane Q and A's. :-) 

We have a selection of paranormal, committed m/m/f menage, vampires, cougar shapeshifters, dark secrets in the waters of the Scottish Highlands, BDSM playhouse, Terentian warriors and Hawaiian hybrids. Something for everyone. All with the theme of dark, searching, lost and found... in the Wild Darkness Calls Series. 

On your first published work. How did it feel to pop your publishing cherry?

IONA: I would liken it to losing your virginity! There's lots of build-up, endless discussion and finally it happens. But then life goes on. You feel like there is something different about you and that it must be obvious but nobody notices. You feel like running into the street and shouting, “everything is different, can't you see the change in me?”

MIKEY: Unreal, yet you realize the need to keep writing and other stories roaming around in your nugget demand to be let out, so there's no real rest for the wicked.

KAY DEE: I’m with Iona on this one – it was like running naked in the streets. Everyone could now read my flaws and what if no one enjoyed my story? Especially with a mix of reviews…isn’t everyone supposed to like it? *LOL* Then the dust settles and naked (so to speak) becomes the norm.

ALIX: I was astounded. Choked up, had to go to the site to see for myself that it was real. It was like a dream had come true and it was hard to believe it actually happened. Even to this day, it seems like a dream and I’ll wake up and it won’t be there. Funny, the one thing I wanted to be I became. And here it is, real and just an awesome feeling. :-)

MEG: I don’t think I really even clicked on the day what was happening. I missed the sense of reality with it. I’m more excited about my second book Saint Nicholas coming out on the 28^th of Nov. The same date as this bundle actually. I think it has sunk in, in phases. LOL. I was like that with sex though… LOL. People ask that question. What was your first time like? I haven’t got a clue. It didn’t impact me in any way that I remember it. I do know I’m much confident now in telling people I’m a writer. I don’t feel I have to explain myself. I simply AM an author and that’s an incredibly nice feeling. :-)

Favourite author:

IONA: Diana Gabaldon

MIKEY: Tough one. There is a wide variety of authors I read. David Stone, for his Micah Dalton spy novels, Agatha Christie for her mysteries, but also for her uniqueness as a person. Dan Skinner gets to make me cry. Amy Lane for the same reasons. Abigail Roux for giving us Ty and Zane. Shit, there's just to many to name. Josh Lanyon for his Adrian English series. Elizabeth A.Lynn because she gave me Dancers of Arun...yeah and she made be cry too...bitches. I'll read anyone.

  

KAY DEE: Kate Douglas (love her sexy shifters and their world)

ALIX: Way too many! LOL Sherrilyn Kenyon and Christine Feehan. Wonderful pieces woven into each story connected to others.

MEG: Noel Barber, he wrote great sweeping sagas in gorgeous locales.

Where did the inspiration for your sexy, sensual characters come from?

IONA: In 2013 Scottish sculptor Andy Scott created two thirty metre high water horse statues for display in a new park in Falkirk. These huge and controversial statues were meant to use the transforming image of the water horse as a metaphor for both the endurance and the transformation of Scotland's water ways.

However, what they got me thinking about was Kelpies (water horses that could appear in the guise of men) and Scottish mythology in general. From there it was only a short leap of the imagination to envisage what an ancient predator appearing in the form of a man might look like. I'll give you a clue – pretty damn hot!

*See above photograph

MIKEY: Most of the characters, especially the male ones have a lot of me in them, even when it comes to their psychosis. As far as physical descriptions, I like blonds and redheads, sue me. I like tats. I like protagonists who are the antihero. My stories are dark and so are my characters.

KAY DEE: Cougars have been a fascination of mine for as long as it’s fascinated “Holly” – star of the story. They’ve been elusive in MI, no one admitting to the fact they lived here…until finally there was no denying it. “Holly” wanted a picture of the beast and the story unfolded from there.

ALIX: From dreams and real people, with a sprinkle of history mixed in for good measure. Kind of like taking a historical male/female and setting them in the modern era. The mix that appears is very sensual and a turn-on. Seeing how the tough warrior from two-thousand years ago is still the same tough guy today, but not the stereotyped one we’ve been led to believe existed back then. I like to fashion them to be timeless. I don’t believe the “soft” males are a modern moment. It’s always been there in the men, that’s what I want to expose. Share with my readers.

MEG: They come from men I’d like to meet. People I have met. My dreams and fantasies. I think all my female characters are based on me. LOL. But the men are all parts of different people I’ve known, loved, liked, sometimes disliked. I like vulnerable men and metro men. They’re incredibly sexy and sensuous to me. That moment when I man can open up and express his emotions and feelings hits some inner core of sensuousness for me. Men in their softness are very masculine to me. 

Do you like pubic hair on your heroes or heroines?

IONA: Personally, I don't like to get into this level of detail. No hair grosses me out but by the same token if there is hair I really don't want a detailed description.

MIKEY: Mikey forgot to answer this one, but I think from memory she likes either. But also comments - trim that shit! Or that could be beards? LOL Sorry Mikey my man!

KAY DEE: Quick answer – yes.

ALIX: I’m not a fan of no pubic hair personally. Reminds me too much of pre-puberty. *shivers* So, yes, they all have pubic hair. However, on that note, they are all neatly trimmed (man-scaping anyone? lol). I’m all for au natural but even I have a limit.

MEG: I can’t STAND no pubic hair. LOL. Recently I’ve allowed a couple of my male/male romances to have shaved balls. But that’s my limit. LOL. I like the allure of pubic hair, the sheer sexiness of it. A man without pubic hair reminds me of a man going out in his dress shirt and tie, shoes and socks on, but no trousers. It just looks weird!! And not remotely sexy to me. I like my men to look like men, not little boys. 

See what I mean? Just gruesome... 

Le Difference... hmmm hmmm

How do you characters turn up? Do you plan them out? Or do they just arrive one day shouting out their stories?

IONA: Oh, they definitely arrive! The character has to come first. There's no point in thinking of a sexy scene then shoehorning in a character. The character has to come first and they dictate the actions (well, they do in my head!)

KAY DEE: I’ve done both ways – drawn up detailed character sketches / interviews intuitively drawing from who they are inside my brain…to the point of in-depth emotions and the “whys” of them. Some have simply evolved to me as the story gets written. I like to know a little about them…so I know if we’ll resonate: )

ALIX: LOL Mine have been roaming about in my head since I was a child and entertaining my siblings with stories. Okay, okay, so those are my ancients and immortals. Most recently, they appear and want their tale told and others wait patiently in the wings for their moment to shine. I also have those who demand (very loudly, lol) that it’s their turn and they refuse to wait a second. Guess, mine are a mix of each one. I still have a very patient male who is just sitting there smiling at me...waiting. Now why couldn’t the others be that polite? LOL

MEG: LOL. Oh mine, just stampede into my brain out of the blue. It might come from one remark, one person, anything could cause them to turn up. But I have no part in the planning of them. They turn up, do their own thing, tell their own stories, with me tentatively suggesting things from the side lines. LOL. I have characters that go ‘rogue’ on me. Back when I first started writing, I thought I was in control of things. “I” was the storyteller. But apparently I’m delusional. I’m merely the person they dictate the story too. I’m essentially the typist.

Favorite food:

IONA: Cheese

MIKEY: Bangers and Mash with Guinness gravy...also I won't pass on a nice liver steak and onions.

  

KAY DEE: Chocolate (isn’t that a staple?)

ALIX: Pizza. All food groups in that one. :-)

MEG: New Zealand fish and chips

What’s the thing you enjoy the most about writing sex scenes?

IONA: I enjoy writing all sorts of scenes. You know it's going well when your fingers are flying over the keyboard and you literally cannot stop until it has finished (the scene and the act, if you know what I mean).

MIKEY: The physical connection between the characters, the fulfillment of the needs, emotionally and physically. I like to do things differently. Usually, at least one of my sex scenes per story will be something out if the norm for those characters. Not a lot of missionary in my stories, but once or twice I'll throw in a variation on the old theme.

KAY DEE: How natural writing it comes to me…I’m there, filled with the emotions and passion in the story – and those scenes are my most fun to write (so my stories tend to sometimes have a lot of these scenes).

ALIX: The emotions and feelings generated. The way the words flow. How it suspends time. That moment when I step back and realize I wrote that and not that it actually happened. The realness of the scene and characters. I enjoy blinking and wondering what in the world just happened. :-)

MEG: I like the feelings it generates. The sensuality and flow through my brain and body as the scene unfolds. The way I can get lost and turned on writing the scene, immersed in it. I hope the readers will get the same reaction from it. If the scene’s not turning me on, it’s probably not going to turn anyone else on either. I like the intense connection between the characters, the heat and emotions it generates.

  

Favorite place:

IONA: Bonnie Scotland of course!

MIKEY: Here...in the woods, in Washington State...up on my mountain.

KAY DEE: Upper Michigan…rural areas with water :-)

ALIX: Beaches and mountains. Nature.

MEG: Hawai’i, France,and New Orleans I’m sure if I visited it in person. :-)

Scotland

The view from the gondola on Crystal Mountain to Mt. Rainier

Roussillon, Luberon, France

What do you consider a romantic date?

 IONA: Something quirky that is tailored just for you. It is so romantic if somebody considers you as a person and thinks of your likes and desires and translates that into a date. Men take heed - it's not all about cookie cutter “romance” it's about really taking your time to consider your partner and doing something just for them.

MIKEY: Dunno, never been on one, but for me...probably a football game, dinner and drinks. Now I have had a romantic lunch, up on Crystal Mountain, at the summit lodge for my birthday. Unhubby took me there and we rode the gondola up and Mt. Rainier was simply stunning. It was romantic and the food was excellent.

KAY DEE: When he goes out of his way to make it “perfect” – even if it’s simply a picnic, but he remembered my favorite wine, cheese, or bread. My favorite song on the radio, my favorite beach, park, or lake :-) We’re connected on a kindred level with conversation and he’s attentive (affectionately) and “hears” me. That absolutely rocks my world.

ALIX: Good food and awesome music. On the beach in the evening/night with a bonfire ablaze. Just the two of us on a blanket, listening to the waves as they come ashore. Watching the stars overhead and the flashes of falling stars. That would be the most romantic date for me. *sigh*

MEG: A five star fine dining restaurant. A bottle of wine on a beach. A bottle of wine, Glenn Miller on the stereo by the water. A meal cooked at home, wine, candles, flowers, music.

  

Fine Dining for Fur Children

What kind of underpants turn you on in a man?

IONA: Tighty Whities! No flappy numbers please.

MIKEY: Well, besides none...boxer briefs.

KAY DEE: None – when he wears none and it’s a big surprise *grins*

ALIX: Commando. Does that count? *smirk* Oh, all right. *sigh* Nice form-fitting ones. I enjoy looking. :-)

MEG: I like form fitting briefs or bikinis. Or the new boxers. Don’t give me those floppy shorts or boxers of old. And no y-fronts!! I want a lovely outline thanks. :-) Very sexy.

Black, blonde or redheads?

IONA: Any.

MIKEY: I like them all, but I'm partial to blonds and reds, but pairing them with tall, dark, and handsome.

KAY DEE: Dark haired – so black or brown

ALIX: I’m a sucker for them all, just sayin’. But I REALLY love black haired males. Especially if they have a dark tan with light/pale eyes. I’m a goner. :-)

MEG: Black or redhead. But the black haired men always really wow me.

Long or short hair on men?

IONA: Any. Really short and really long can both look good depending on the personality of the wearer.

MIKEY: Long. My unhubby's hair is now down below his knees and he's 6'3" and has a long torso.

  

KAY DEE: I love longer hair that’s wild, yet groomed – hmmm, is that even possible? That’s what I picture on most of stars in my stories.

ALIX: Depends on the man. Some men can rock long hair (Native Americans), while others look hotter with short hair (British men). Either way, they’re HOT!

MEG: I like long hair on men. I don’t mind short hair as long as it’s not a number one, or the shaved look/stubble look. That turns me off. I like hair on a man’s head, with a bit of a sweep back to it. Really short men’s haircuts do zero for me.

Give some details of your ideal home and its location.                              

IONA: A sprawling country house in the highlands of Scotland.

MIKEY: Cabin in the woods, or an underground home in the woods. Prefer a nice green wooden area with rich soil and soft emerald moss. I don't need grass.

KAY DEE: I love the look of a modernized log cabin with all the conveniences of wi-fi, water, and electric – it would have the wrap-around porch, a sunroom (for writing), and be located in a lovely rural area in Michigan surrounded by trees (but not so dense the sun can’t filter in) with a babbling creek close by and I can enjoy the seasons: )

ALIX: In the mountains, secluded. Would love to be snowed in during the whole winter. Nice big windows with a beautiful view of a valley below. A wrap around deck, overhanging, to give the feeling you’re floating above the valley floor. Large rooms, lots of space with huge fireplaces for heat. A combination “A” Frame house and log cabin would be ideal. Oh, have to have a hot tub or maybe a Jacuzzi, so I won’t freeze when I want to sip wine and soak outside. :-)  

MEG: Tough one. I have a few places that would work for me. One is a big open airy Hawaiian house on the Big Island of Hawai’i in Kona. A big lanai, big kitchen, art festooned walls. A hammock and orchids on every surface of the lanai. Tropical plants for miles, coffee, papaya, plumeria, ginger, bananas, hibiscus, Jacaranda, Poinciana. 

The other would be a place in New Orleans right in the CBD of the French Quarter. Being able to step out the front door, knowing that a decent fine dining restaurant or ethic food was right around the corner, a short walk away. An inner courtyard, sheltered and private from the outside world. Rich tropical plants, art for Africa, lots of glass and light. An oasis in a city. Private and sensuous. A hammock outside.

Earrings or other jewelry on men?

IONA: A watch and a wedding ring is all a man should wear.

MIKEY: Yes. Earings, bracelets, anklets, rings. Unfortunately my unhubby has huge hands...to give you an idea...I can put his full face helmet on my head and spin it all their way around my head. He's a big Scottish boy.

KAY DEE: No…not so much.

ALIX: Earrings, necklaces, bracelets, you name it. I think they look sexy. It’s an eye catcher for me. Draws my gaze every time. I just cannot help myself. :-)

MEG: I LOVE earrings on a man. LOVE LOVE LOVE them. LOL. You could probably sweep me away if you were a man with earrings. LOL. I like them in one or both ears, up to two in each ear. I also love bracelets, necklaces, rings… I like metro men, can’t you tell. :-)

This sexy beastie with his jewelry is just for Iona. LOL. No.. a wee bit too much Iona? :-)

My man Morgan with his lovely lovely gold hoops. Hmmm hmmm 

CONTACT EACH OF OUR HOTTIES AT: 

IONA

www.ionabrodie.co.uk

MEG

www.troikaromance.com

www.trokaramance.blogspot.com

www.facebook.com/meg.amor.5

ALIX

Face Book: http://tinyurl.com/mb9oscg

Twitter: https://twitter.com/AlixRichards

Goodreads: http://tinyurl.com/l47m6ge

Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+AlixRichardsSoulsImmortal/posts

                                        

MIKEY

www.michelerakes.wordpress.com
http://www.facebook.com/michele.rakes

www.twitter.com@michelerakes

KAY DEE

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/kaydee.royal

Twitter: http://twitter.com/kaydeeroyal

Blog: http://www.kaydeeroyal.blogspot.com

RUBY

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DOES MY PENIS LOOK BIG IN THESE JEANS? Conversations with Spencer!!!

DOES MY PENIS LOOK BIG IN THESE JEANS?

Aloha everyone! Today we thought we’d tackle a tough package and let’s hope we don’t get eaten for lunch over it. Do we have the balls or the er equipment to um…tackle this subject.

Yeah… I think I’m out of silly juvenile penis innuendoes now… 

Does size matter? Who lies about penis size? The women? The men? This is what we’re chatting about today on Conversations with Spencer.

One of our erotic writer friends said he DID lie about his penis size on line, thinking he’d NEVER meet the lady in question. Well, he did and she forgave him and married him.

PENIS FACTS 1. Only 6 percent of the male population needs extra-large rubbers, according to condom manufacturers. In other words, 94 percent of men lie.

So, how important is it in the grand scheme of things? Who cares more? Who lies more?

When a man says, “Is my penis big enough?” What woman is game enough to say, “Well, now that you mention it…”

Or do we all lie to save male ego, not hurt someone’s feelings, be nice? Or do we care as much as they think we do?

And what do we think about men who ask this question?

Who’s more obsessed with penis size – men or women?

PENIS FACTS 2. Eight-five percent of women are satisfied with the penis size of their partners, although only 55% of guys like their size. About 90% of women prefer a wide penis to a long one.ⁱ

We had one of our writers once say, I bet it was the large penis you all noticed in that written piece. But it wasn’t for the women. It was the kindness or humanness or humor of the man.

Do we really not mind? Well… I’m obviously the female part of this chat today and I’m ooooh… going to have to be honest. Ouch.

Do I want someone who’s a foot long? No! My toyboy said he damaged someone’s cervix and she ended up at the emergency room? OMGiddy Aunt! It is uncomfortable if someone is too long.

But… I do like looking at big penises. Yes I do. They’re just so lovely. Well, actually, MOST penises are lovely to look at for me. I really like male genitalia. It’s very exciting, very sexy. You get a soft flaccid penis that transforms into a rock hard velvety exterior upright cock. It fascinates me. I love watching and feeling the process from soft to hard. I have to admit, there’s a wee bit of penis envy in there for me. J

SPENCER:

Guys this is not an invitation to send a picture of your junk. We have standards of proper demeanor here.

Meg:

Yes, and I only like shots with pubic hair. Plus, if I want to look at that, I’ll go and seek it out myself. And really…here’s another question. Why do guys DO that stuff? Why do guys think sending pictures of their penises will win them a date? My instant reaction is “euuwww, creepy.” I want to know what makes those guys tick that think that’s a really cool thing to do? Do they ACTUALLY think they’ll get a date? Are they socially inept? Are they mentally deranged? Arrogant? What? I do wonder.

I remember years ago, working with a guy who said a friend of his used to hit on this woman all the time, who wouldn’t go out with him (and you’ll see why her instincts were DEAD on in a moment.) So, one day, while she was working in the library, he unzipped his fly and flopped his penis out on the desk. Without missing a beat, she looked up, looked at it and said, “Oh…it looks like a penis, only much smaller.” Then went back to work. YES!!!

I HATE those guys that did things like that back then and do things like that now. And I want to know WHY some men would do that stuff? Okay, but back to our main broadcast! And the men I DO like and love.

PENIS FACTS 3 During the Middle ages, men walked around in a codpiece, an often brightly colored covering for the penis in men’s breaches. It was padded and molded in the shape of a permanent erection. King Henry VIII had the largest codpiece in England.

And just as an aside when Spencer and I were discussing this. I had commented on the fact that it seems men have a much easier time getting hard, being turned on, staying turned on and orgasming. And it’s just so fun!!

SPENCER:

Young men. But its still fun for old guys.

Meg:

I don’t think our bits are particularly fun, but I suspect there’s quite a few men that would disagree with that statement.

SPENCER:

That would be me, for one.

Meg:

So, back to the main topic. One question at a time. What DO I say when a man says, “Is my penis big enough?”

Would I say, “Well, I’m glad you asked Bob, because really, your penis is not up to scratch. It’s not long enough, thick enough, not crazy on the color and please…please…I beg you. Grow some pubic hair!!!”

No. I would not say those things. I might say, ‘You know… I LOVE pubic hair.” But saying to someone, I don’t like your penis, is like saying to someone, actually your nose is just too big. And how does that work? We like big penises but not big noses?

So, why do men ask this question?

SPENCER:

The flip side of penis envy is penis insecurity.

I want everyone reading this who has an iPhone to punch up the robot assistant Siri and ask about penis size. She told me the average size of an erect male penis is 15.5 centimeters. Well, damn woman, how long is that? I'm an American. Six inches.

Woot woot! I'm above average for once in my life!

There is so much to probe here from the silly to the profound. Would I trade my above average tool for an above average IQ? I'm not smart enough to know. (rim shot)

MEG:

PENIS FACTS 4 The world’s largest penis

The largest penis ever to be medically verified was 13.5 inches long and 6.25 inches in circumference. Just to put that in perspective, the average vagina is three to four inches deep.

And wouldn’t that be so inconvenient! I once had someone on in a story about the penis of the hero being big enough to barely get their hand around. I said, how big is this penis? Crikey dick! Reality in writing please folks. J But perhaps the hero was this man’s brother.

SPENCER:

It's best I begin with confession. I never sat around in the locker room comparing erections with the guys. I don't know if guys even do that. A straight, vanilla guy like me, from a sexually repressed background has very little occasion to see other men erect anywhere aside from porn films.

My first wife and I were virgins when we met, having had no previous sexual experience. I had no idea about my size. The topic never came up. We eventually divorced. When I started dating again, I was surprised that women partners described me as big. I thought, “what a perfect lie to tell a man to boost his ego. How is he going to know?” Of course I was flattered, but too repressed to ask the hundred or so follow-up questions.

MEG:

Well, I’m quite keen to know what the hundred or so follow-up questions would have been. We women would love to know what men would love to ask? Do tell Spencer? J

SPENCER:

I think it would be; really? really? You’re not fooling really? How much bigger? What does bigger feel like? And so? Wow I'm really bigger? How was that for you? Did I get it right? And on and on with all my male insecurities.

MEG: 

Ah, so see, this is why men ask that question. They’re not really saying, Does my penis look fabulous? They’re saying, am I okay? Did I do it right? Am I enough for you? This makes more sense to me now? It’s not an ego question they’re asking. It’s a confidence question. Am I okay? The same thing we all want to know at the end of the day.

SPENCER:

More confession. It was a nice ego boost. I'm not sure how well I would have handled the disappointment card a second time around. My ex-wife played the disappointment card with all the skill of a Las Vegas Black Jack dealer.

I've been married now to the same woman for 25 years. She tells me how good I am. It still matters. Now I've reached that time in life when sexual performance is on the decline-rapidly—not for lack of interest—just biology.

Meanwhile, or not surprisingly the phenomenon of erectile dysfunction and its twin brother, male enhancement have broken through to main stream advertising. Viagra has been showing progressively younger men in its commercials. (They started with Bob Dole). But a true sign that the end of civilization is near, even the bastion of maleness, "Monday Night Football" has been invaded. Football advertising is mostly trucks and beer. Beer fantasy is the greatest. Imagine a long legged, big breasted, narrow hipped woman is going to love me for the beer I drink. (MEG: lol… snorting with laughter. Now, you put it like that… yes? It does make you wonder. J) 

Now that friend’s is unabashed false advertising, but we slurp it up. The breach happened last Monday. Now a sultry, young gal with a smoky British accent, played with her hair while telling me its okay for me to go get the blue pill. I bet it was lines around the block for every physician in the land.

Once again I think as writers of erotica we have an opportunity to change the chorus. What is more common in erotica than the MC with big junk? It's time to celebrate the little guy. I have had female characters with small breasts ("The Substitute" coming soon from Breathless Press). Part of the character arc of Britta Sorensen involves her small breasts—they symbolize what she feels is wrong with her life. My male MC tells her and shows her how erotic small breasts are.

Small is the new big. Who's up for that? (pun intended)

So ladies, there’s a time and place for truth and mercy, sometimes they are at odds. When a woman says, “does this make me look fat?” A wise man comes to see it is a loaded question, and the answer weighs heavily on his future. If a man asks you if you think he's big, mercy is a far more blessed quality than truth. Tell the lie. He won't know. Or you can always say, “You’re the biggest I've ever had.” Throw in a longing sigh and he'll hand you the charge card.

MEG:

Okay, here’s something I find interesting reading this. You think we should well… stretch a truth slightly? Okay, I understand that. No one wants to hurt someone’s feelings. But do some men think that we’re after their ‘charge-card?’ Why?

PENIS FACTS 6. There is no correlation between penis size and shoe size, hand size or nose size. And the bad news is even worse for gold-digging nymphos: There's no correlation between penis size and wallet size.

SPENCER:

The charge card thing is only a joke. All I'm saying is that men are terribly insecure about their ability to satisfy a woman. As far as stretching the truth, men are as insecure as women. "Does this make me look fat" is about a lot of body image issues that men are supposed to have answers for. We don't have good answers but we should. But really we can't. My wife is a curvy woman. I love her body. She had been programmed to hate it. I can't bring enough to overcome the women's' chorus. It breaks my heart at times.

Men are just as insecure. We long to hear that whatever we have satisfies our partner. So tell you man he satisfies you—if he does—if he doesn't help him to do it better. You want him to see you with the eyes of love. Why not return the favor and see him as the man he wants to be?

MEG:

This conversation has been interesting for me in that I realize how insecure men are. I always thought that question was a slight mark of arrogance, but I’m realizing it’s not. I’m not even sure why I thought that. Is that the same reason jerks send penis pics? Do they think it’s the only way a woman might consider going out with them? I have the personality of a bullfrog, face of a martian and my POS car is nothing to write home about either… However…I can offer you this!!! Ta Da!!! The penis extraordinaire!!

SPENCER:

Unfortunately but maybe not surprisingly phallus phasination goes back to the dawn of mankind. I remember seeing a documentary about a tribe living somewhere in the South Pacific that had very little contact with Westerners. The guys wore hollowed out roots over their penis, apparently the larger your root the more status you had. So I ask you, what's changed? The Asian's are going to put tigers elephants and rhinoceros into extinction trying to get elixir’s for male enhancement.

Vanuatu tribesmen

God, Mother Nature or Darwin also had a hand on this. I believe that homo sapiens have a larger penis related to body size than any of the great apes. In my unpublished micro-fiction work, "Garden Makeover," Adam and Lilith are having lots of troubles. Among other things Lilith is not satisfied sexually. Adam can't get her to do anything. God finally agrees to a do-over. He puts Adam to sleep to create Eve, but also improves his package. Lilith finds Adam and Eve together and stomps out of the garden in a rage.

We mock women for their insecurity, but we men are just as bad. I wonder how much money is spent each year on male enhancement?

MEG:

And the above story of Adam and Eve and Lilith illustrates the point. Men often think that size is a requirement for making someone a good lover or that it will be more attractive to a woman. Both of those things are completely false. It’s what you do with it, not the size or shape that counts. What’s that saying, “A man is only as good as the tools he uses.” Or something like that. I’ve come across a few guys with big penises and they were crap lovers. They almost seemed to be of the opinion that they had a big penis, so nothing else was required. If you don’t know what you’re doing with other things like your hands, fingers, mouth and tongue, who cares what your penis does?

I think it comes down to the fact that a larger percentage of women DON’T orgasm through penetration sex. Does this make a man feel ‘less than’ because his penis isn’t really the object of direct arousal per se? Lucee Lovett has just written a story about a guy and his wife who are having a hard time sexually. The guys convinced all along it’s because his penis isn’t big enough. But it nothing to do with that. It’s because he’s useless in bed. He’s never brought his wife to orgasm manually. He gets to where he needs to be and has been convinced his penis will be the sole source of her joy. Sorry…not the case.

Yes, god forbid we’d have to do without them, and it’s not to say that making love with someone deep inside you isn’t gorgeous…but…and…it’s not usually our sole source of orgasm.

SPENCER:

Again and performance are a whole related issue that really accelerates a man's insecurity. You deal with it so well with your character Henry, although he has a faster recovery time than a typical 68 yr old, he offers us old guys hope.

MEG:

J On Henry. Thanks. Well, remember too, that Henry is into progressive medicine, so he’s healthier generally than your average 68 year old. He does use natural testosterone cream on his skin every day to replace what’s missing. So that does help him…and…the author has taken a wee bit of liberty. But not overly so. I wanted it to be as realistic as possible. Often Henry can’t have sex, because he’s simply out. I did research this because I didn’t want it coming off as ridiculous. I really did find one doc who said he had a 98 year old patient who still had regular sex. I thought that was wonderful!!!

But getting back to the performance thing as well. I’ve noticed sometimes that men seem to think they need ‘stamina’ or to go for a long time. I’m not sure that’s across the board. What says you Spencer? I personally get bored if it goes on for too long. I don't want to be mentally doing my grocery list because wonder lover thinks he’s got to out-beat his last record of 24.25 minutes.

I'm noticing what women want, and men THINK we want aren't really matched up.

Yes, a big penis is lovely to look at, but sometimes in reality, not all that comfortable. Thickness is often nicer than length. And I personally love big balls, the often neglected part of male genitalia. They’re just so sexy!

Do men concentrate on ball size? Do they worry men the same way that penis size does? These are the things I wonder about?

BALLS FACTS 1 The big-balled cheater

“Testicular research of a more sociological kind has deduced that men with large testicles are likely to be more unfaithful, the converse being true of men with small testicles,” says Hickman. Thus, he advises, with tongue firmly planted in cheek: “A woman” — or man, I would add — “seeking a reliable long-term partner might be advised to invest in an orchidometer,” a medical instrument designed for measuring balls.

Which does not bode well for me, because I have a real thing for big balls… So…I wonder how good that research really is. Do I need to go online and order an orchidometer? Or should I just go by feel or the ‘eyecometer.’

Getting back to performance. Yes, I don’t want someone to come in two seconds flat, but I also don’t want the marathon sex session where I’m a) sore b) dry and c) doing my grocery list.

I’m more concerned with what someone DOES with their hands, mouth and penis than just the penis alone in sex. I grew up in the generations of men who didn’t think a woman’s orgasm was necessary or even knew what it was. I’m probably less tolerant of men who are obsessed over THEIR size and THEIR ego needs in bed. And because I just have to know these things:

BALL FACTS 2 Blue balls are real. Prostatic congestion is the medical term for it – when the testicles and prostate are filled with too much goo and you can't get relief. Fortunately, instead of doing something irrational, a man could simply take an aspirin, a warm shower, or think about grandma having sex with grandpa.

PENIS FACTS 7 every year, Kawasaki, Japan holds a penis festival called the Kanamara Matsuri. This Shinto fertility festival includes a giant 2.5 meter wooden penis carried by locals, phallus-shaped tokens, and suggestively carved vegetables. 

So, in conclusion, what do we think? Well, it's insecurity on the part of all humans. A very human condition to ask the questions we do. We're not so much asking, aren't I fabulous, look at me. We're asking, am I okay, do you still love me, am I acceptable to you?

And here's a sexy penis shot, one of my favorites. It also brings us to our next topic we'd thought we'd talk about. I've noticed that a lot of us women and gay men are putting up sexy piccies of nude men. Is this the equivalent of the old 'girlie' magazine pinup spreads on guys bedroom walls in the 70's and 80's when I came of age? And we HATED them. Is this the equivalent though? Sexism reversed? We're wondering. 

Stayed tuned for our next Conversations with Spencer with Meg Amor and Spencer Dryden - sensual and erotic romance writers. The men and women's thoughts on love, sex and relationships. Aloha for now and thanks as always to the great readers!!! We love you. 

MEG AMOR: 

www.troikaromance.com

SPENCER DRYDEN: 

http://www.fictionbyspencer.com/home.html