Wednesday, December 31, 2014

ATTRACTION ~ What's sexy? What's not? What sex's us up?

ATTRACTION ~ Deck the halls with balls of…


 What’s sexy? What’s not?
Do lingerie, food, smells, genitalia or ‘enhancements’ 
sex us up?


Aloha everyone! Thanks to all you readers on our blogs. I hope everyone had a Chirpy Christmas /Hanukah/Kwanzaa/Solstice and any other holiday thing you might have had.

Today on Conversations with Spencer, we’re talking about attraction. What is that thing that instantly grabs our attention in a person? Is it their crotch, lips, hair, abs, breasts, smile, personality, attributes, bank account…? Do things like sexy lingerie turn us on? Do bee stung, Botox lips do anything for us? What do men think of breast enhancements? And is any kind of food really an aphrodisiac? What smells arouse you?


What makes a person sexy?



MEG:

I’ve been pondering this question after having a late night discussion with one of my toyboys. He likes my ass and breasts. He thinks my bum is ample and lovely to grab—apparently. I like my backside, I’ve always liked its roundness and that it’s not small. Yes, I know…I’m weird. I’ll never say, “Does my bum look too big?” My boobs aren’t anything to write home about, but apparently they do the job. My late husband was a breast man. My ex-boyfriend Kahiko was a leg man.

Is this the primary attraction ‘code’ for men?

I once asked this dopey guy why he married his wife. He said, “Because she was pretty.” I thought, you’re an idiot.

I was at a dance club once with my friend Lu and she had a sexy smoochie dance with a guy who rushed off the dance floor. We later wondered if he’d gone to relieve himself… But anyway, she thought she spotted him the next day as we were walking the streets of Maui. But she wasn’t sure. Why? She couldn’t remember his face, only his body?

I was a wee bit nonplussed by this. I’d never struck that in a woman before. So, is this cultural? Or gender differences. Sometimes I couldn’t tell you what someone’s body looked like, but I’ll remember their face. I might get that they were tall, the color of their hair.

I’m attracted firstly to someone’s eyes. If the eyes don’t do it for me, nothing else will. Then I like hair. The ‘number one’ stubble thing turns me off. I love a warm, twinkly smile, an open friendly, intelligent, funny personality as well. Someone can be gorgeous, but if their personality is a dud, it’s a no go.  

I’ve often attracted to people for personality and intelligence, alone. 


Gentleness of spirit, fun, quirky traits, a caring attitude, a sharp brain…

So Spencer, what first grabs you about someone?

And what second grabs you about someone?

SPENCER:

I am a guy and like most guys I tend toward the visual. I have noticed a change in what draws me now. As a young man it was the full body scan. I've always liked the curvy gals. 



Now I am at the age where I see an attractive woman then have to slap myself with the realization that she may be thirty years younger than me and still be a 'mature' woman. Unless you’re Morgan Freeman or Sean Connery, women stop 'seeing' you. It's rare now for a woman to visually engage me. I'm rarely in public places like bars where I used to go to find women or at least engage in some fantasy. It's just chance encounters in the main stream of life.

Now it's eyes and face. I look for the magic, the zest for life that might appear for only a moment that I find attractive. Often it's a woman's tender gaze on her child rather than the distant detached look of a fashion model.



Second of course is the figure. I'm a tummy guy (Meg: this is cool, I didn’t know men could be tummy guys. J ) but here in the frozen tundra we don't see much of that six months out of the year. In fact at this time of year we are so bundled it's hard to make out shape. The fish hooks and piercings anywhere but ears are a major turn off. I guess that's generational. "Bee stung lips", LOL, they are ugly, ugly, ugly.


Was Mick Jagger our original prototype for the bee stung lip trend. :-)

MEG:

Okay, I suspect I’m slightly odd in the world of women and also culturally Kiwis aren’t brought up with ‘the body beautiful.’ So I don’t go for muscles on a man. I’m looking for sexiness and sensuality, but eyes, smile, hair, nice face will do that for me. I agree we have to have an initial attraction to someone, but what keeps us there?  

What do I notice physically? Though this in no way makes me go out with someone. It’s just a nice thing to have. I like long hands and fingers. I like nice feet. I love a nice bum on a man, broad shoulders and men’s backs. Little body hair, no facial hair—except on my man Morgan Freeman. He and Tom Sellack are the exceptions. But give me hair with waves or curls, long or/and thick. Hmmm hmmm. Earrings—love earrings. Can take or leave ink. That’s my list. Notice – penis and balls aren’t there. I love them, but they’re not an attraction thing for me.
The very beautiful Dayvid Thomas who is my muse for my new character Kulani Mahikoa in HAWAIIAN ORCHID,
part of The Hawaiian series. Gay romance, coming out next year :-) 


Turn offs: Number one haircuts. Ugh. No pubes. Ugh. Horrible shoes. Yes, I know, strange and weird prejudice, but I’ve spoken to other women and this is not as uncommon as you’d think. Head beanies! Baggy jeans. Baggy underwear. Those nasty American ‘shorts’ and boxers like shorts. Also New Zealand Y-front underwear and singlets. Ugh. Mismatched socks and men who leave them on having sex??! NO!



Personally, once we get down to it, I love men in form fitting underwear, with a nice outline of their penis and balls. Very sexy. So speaking of underwear Spencer? Do men generally like lingerie? I love wearing gorgeous lingerie. Corsets, stockings, lacey panties, sexy bras, baby dolls, plunging necklines, all do it for me. Do men really like this stuff? Or it is just extra clothing that hampers the main objective?



I know someone whose partner just liked them in plain cotton thongs and bra. He thought that was sexy. I've never gone out with a man that wears lacy panties. I'm trying to decide if I'd like that or not. I think I might, but I suspect he might not like women... oh well. :-)

SPENCER:

Interesting how your tastes reflect that you are from a warm sunny climate. (Meg: He has to be talking about my American home state of Hawai’i. LOL. NZ is bloody cold, like Washington State, but not like the frozen north! I did two long…….winters in Michigan. Ugh.) Don't come here, you'll die of visual starvation. I'm sure you're not a big fan of American football but look at the difference in the dress of the fans and cheerleaders between sunbelt and frost belt.

I love the fancy lingerie. It's too bad they hang it on such young skinny girls at Victoria's Secret. Back in the 80's I loved the combination of the woman's power suit-the tight fitting skirt and matching jacket over the lacy blouse with the hints of the fancy lingerie underneath. Business on the outside, fun underneath. Meg Ryan and her big hair. Oh my.



MEG:

Now I want to know where people are at with the ‘enhancement’ stuff. Or as Aaron and I used to call it – when someone’s had ‘dental work.’ In New Zealand, plastic surgery is still not an everyday thing. I know when I first came here to the States I couldn’t get over the bill boards advertising breast enhancements. It was so weird!!

I had a friend who had her chin and nose reshaped and breasts enlarged. I honestly couldn’t tell with her nose and chin. But her breasts were odd. She had a nice bust size, a respectable 34C and she went to a 36D or something. She looked peculiar. I always worried she’d topple over. She looked top-heavy for her frame.

Too much? 

Now Spencer jump in here, because you have opinions on breast size and it might surprise the women out there.

The classic LA Story, when Steve Martin is feeling Sarah Jessica Parkers breasts and he says, “SanDeE, your breasts feel weird.”

She says perkily, “Oh, that’s cos they’re real.”


What do men think of breast enhancement?

Or any ‘enhancement?’

I think plastic surgery is self-mutilation…

I also don’t like intersex children having their sexual identity imposed on them at a young age through surgery. This is a brilliant blogsite on intersex. Increase awareness please. 

http://www.intersexroadshow.blogspot.com/

The one on intersex-genitalia-illustrated is very interesting.

And I think male circumcision is also mutilation…

I can’t fathom the Botox thing. I ran across a woman in Florida once who seemed to have had every ‘enhancement’ known to man/womankind. She looked like a caricature of herself. Like the overblown Jessica whatsie in Roger Rabbit. I didn’t think it was remotely sexy, but what do men think?
Spencer, I happen to know you love curvy women as most men do, but I’m assuming you want the natural curves and soft pillows on a woman.




SPENCER:

Men love breasts of all sizes, the only ones we don't like are the ones that aren't shared willingly. Small breasts can be very sexy-back to Meg Ryan in 80's. Or my other Hollywood fantasy woman, Sigourney Weaver-also small breasted-and tall. However I could look at Eva Mendez all day, especially if she was just in some lingerie.

I have never felt enhanced breasts. I find them a little scary to look at. I think, what kind of woman is so insecure about her figure that she'll inject sand from some beach and risk all kinds of heath problems-for what? I don't think I could get comfortable with that kind of woman-she's too uncomfortable with herself.

Before and after piccies - improvement or not? 

MEG:
And this is my issue with it too. That people feel so bad about themselves, that they feel they must have plastic surgery to look good?! I find that frightening. What frightens me too is when young girls get a boob job at say 18. Are you serious? And the casual way it seems to be handled. Oh, are you going to get pink or red cherry nail polish today? It’s seen often as a normal sort of thing. We’re bringing people up, especially women, to hate themselves unless they really do look like the plastic Barbie version. Not good.

SPENCER:

The Botox thing is terrible. It looks so unnatural. Joan Rivers. I don't think she could even blink at the time of her death.

Too much 'dental work'?

MEG:

Given it’s that time of the year and a recent discussion elsewhere. Is slathering ourselves with chocolate sauce sexy? Would some whipped cream and a cherry in a strategic place add to things, or would you die laughing? Have you ever found oysters or anything to add to sexual libido? I personally never have. Alcohol might loosen up my inhibitions a wee bit, but that’s probably the extent of it.




Once in Sex in the City, Samantha, lies on the dining room table naked, decorated with Sushi for her man’s homecoming dinner.


Do flavored condoms, edible underwear or anything else do it for you?

I like that tantric Kama Sutra powder and I LOVE good men’s perfumes. Smells arouse me. I love Bulgari Extreme. A lot of Bulgari products actually. Yummmmm. That’s arousing. I always wear Jessica McClintock original. Delicious. Can’t say balls dipped in choccie would do it for me. But to a tactile person, they might…





SPENCER:

The erotic thing to me about gourmet sex is the surrender involved. The woman is saying, 'here I am, giving myself completely to you'-it's like human sacrifice of a sort-literally consuming her body.

Was this what you meant? :-) NO! :-) 

Better? :-)

I've never done it though. As I have said before, children kill intimacy. Sex after children is stolen moments, in the dark, under the covers, quietly. There isn't the time and space to make sex the celebration it should be. We never had the money to have get-away weekends.

Funny how that has been a struggle in my writing-not rushing sex scenes, learning to stay in the moment and linger over the details and the building desire-stuff you do so well. (Meg: Thanks Spencer. And that’s an interesting observation on how we write as individuals. Another male romance erotica writer I know also said, he tends to want to rush to the actual sex act parts of a story. It’s possibly the way we’re structured as male and female, but also interesting in that I don’t have human children and haven’t had to ever ‘make it quick.’)

I'm from the 60's. I still like the aroma of patchouli oil. It reminds me of the mythical hippie chick that poured out free love with Cream playing in the background. It's a memory that never came close to reality.



I've never used condoms. My sexually active years were in the 80's before AIDS. The women were all on the pill then. Someone should tell modern erotic writers that condoms are a highly unreliable means of birth control. (Meg: Me either Spencer on the condoms, but with my younger lovers, I’ve had to and it was a learning experience that I’m still not as comfortable with because I didn’t grow up with it. 

I think my generation was the last of the really ‘free’ generation. We drunk drove (Yes, horrendous now when you think about it,) did drugs freely (also not sure that’s a great thing) and had free uninhibited condom free and lots of it sex (Now, here I do think it was a good thing. In some ways we had less inhibitions and in others, we knew a lot less about sex than the younger sets do. But we were less moralistic too I think, especially in New Zealand. All the outrageous clothes and bands… We LIVED. My best friend Gail and I talk about some of the things we did and think, Crikey dick!!! But we had a LOT of fun!!! LOL. We’re the original Ab Fabbers. We always argued about who was going to be Pats, I haven’t eaten since 1972, darling…)

Ab Fab Darlings

New Zealand eighties band - SPLIT ENZ 


So in conclusion, we're sexy in lots of different ways. Don't assume everyone likes the same thing or that something you have is a turn off. It's probably not. I once researched about the amount of people who find underarm pit hair sexy and love the smell. See—something for everyone! :-)

Although in one survey, the number one passion killer for men is huge GRANNY panties, so you might want to reconsider those. And the number one passion killer for women is men who have undressed but still have their socks on. Then awkwardly take them off... See... I'm not the only one would hates socks and sex!! LOL. 




And a final snippet on why gay men often wear socks or shoes in porn and piccies. I asked the photographer Dan Skinner, also a great author and he said it's so dirty feet don't show in the shot. Aha! I guess if you are naked and moving around a lot, you might get grubby feet. I hadn't thought of that. LOL. 

Thanks again for coming to visit us and reading our ramblings. 
Happy New Year to everyone who celebrates Western New Year!!! 

Aloha from Meg Amor and Spencer Dryden

~ we both have new releases

~ SAINT NICHOLAS ~ Meg Amor

~ LOVE ABOVE SEE LEVEL ~ Spencer Dryden
~THEN, ONE FROZEN CHRISTMAS EVE ~ Spencer Dryden 

All on special for .99 cents. Grab them for a New Years read. Amazon links below

www.troikaromance.com


.99 cent special

A beautiful heartfelt, sensual erotic romance story—New Zealander, Daisy struggles with the death of her husband, her days become blurs of unreality. There doesn’t seem to be any light at the end and if there is one—it’s probably a train. 

Life has become slightly surreal. Nobody told her death would be like this. That she’d feel so exhausted some days, even brushing her teeth would seem like the ascent on Everest without oxygen. 


Her one bright spot is picking up a lotto ticket at the local store where the gorgeous Greek owner Nicky Constantine works. His dancing Aegean-blue eyes and jet black wavy hair are as attractive as his long fingers. She notices them every time. He’s flirty and fun—he’s probably nice to everyone. Good Greek Boy, she thinks in her sarkier moments. 


But one day, Nicky touches her hand and she’s transported into another time and era—she sees a flash of a heavy sheepskin flight jacket and peaked service cap. In her confusion, she leaves her cash card at the store. 


Unbeknown to Daisy, Nicky’s only flirty with her. He’s been watching her for months, concerned for this lovely, fragile woman. 


Finding her card, he takes up her challenge that men aren’t romantic anymore. He arrives at her door with an invitation to drive down to the river. 


He’s packed champagne and candles… 


Christmas is right around the corner...has Saint Nicholas come early this year?


and 
http://www.fictionbyspencer.com/home.html



AMAZON reviewer: I loved this book! So very different
 and also loads of fun while dealing with some very hard issues. 
I especially liked the non traditional heroine. .99 cents special



.99 cent special

On a freezing cold Christmas Eve, a broken furnace unites a lonely heating technician and his client who is forced out of her home. 

On a snowy, frigid Christmas Eve in Minnesota, a heating technician makes an emergency call to a townhome without heat. Don is unable to repair the unit and tells Becky, the occupant, she must vacate the premises and stay in a hotel for her own safety. Becky breaks down and tells Don she has no money and no place to go. She has no friends or family locally and has maxed out her credit cards relocating from San Diego. Don invites her to stay with him until the furnace can be replaced. 


Don is smitten by her good looks and warm, inviting manner. He begins to fantasize about a romantic connection, but is restrained by a crippling fear of his sexual inadequacy. Safe at his apartment, Becky turns up the heat on the shy divorcee. Can she melt his fears of intimacy and give him an unforgettable Christmas? 

Monday, December 22, 2014

SEX OVER FIFTY ~ Are we going downhill or picking up speed? Conversations with Spencer.


DO YOU THINK I’M SEXY?


Sex over fifty. 
Are we going downhill or picking up speed?

Fabulous Fifty
Sexy Sixty
Sensuous Seventy
Erotic Eighty
Naughty Ninety

Aloha everyone! Sorry it’s been a while. Today in conversations with Spencer, we’re talking about having sex over fifty. Or ‘old guys’ sex’ as Spencer calls it. J

Are we ‘old’ these days when we hit the half century and upward? Or is 50, the new 35 as writer John Rosenman says? Is 70 the new 50?




We’re not aging the way our parents or Grandparents did. We’re living more and deeper. When I hit 50 last year, part of me simply rebelled. I thought, I’m not ready to hang up my sensuality slippers yet! The thought of never having sex again in my life depressed the guts out of me. That’s when I started my career as a sensuous or erotic romance writer. While Miss Clairol and I are on more intimate terms than I’d like, on a good day, I do only feel in my thirties. On a bad day—94!


I always remember the Irish comedian Dave Allen joking about getting older. He said he went past a shop window and thought, God, who’s that old codger. Then he realized it was him. J


In my country of birth, New Zealand there were certain expectations of aging. At 30, I was expected to ‘grow up.’ Get my hair cut in a nice pudding bowl, no nonsense, sensible shape, let it go progressively grey and throw out all my sexy clothes. I call this aging disgracefully.






Spencer: Ugh. What a terrible image. Yes, aging disgracefully. That's something that's changed for the better. I think the make-up and fashion people have recognized there's still plenty of opportunity to sell to women over forty. My wife spends a small fortune on hair care, skin and make -up products, regular mani's and pedi's. I'm all for it. She's still a very beautiful woman at 59.


MEG

Thankfully that’s changed. But my stepmother often asked me quite seriously when I was going to get my hair cut. Ah, like, never! I’ll die with long red curly hair, thanks very much. Why would I trade in a sexy part of me? Why would I want to? In the States, people have different expectations. The ‘blue rinse’ and having your hair ‘set’ in curlers once a week is not as prevalent as New Zealand. Here women in their eighties still dye their hair red. They still get mani’s and pedi’s as a matter of course.

I was saying to my best friend the other day, “My God, how can we be 51?! That’s ridiculous.” In the movie ‘Still Crazy’—Bill Nighy’s character slams a birthday cake against the wall saying, “I’m not fucking fifty!”

I hear you Bill!



So, at fifty, sixty, seventy and up these days—where’s our sexuality at? Have we slowed down, lost interest or have we moved into another level of sexuality and slowed down in a good way? Deeper, slower, more intense? This is what I wonder about.

For me, it’s slower, I’m looking after me more. When I was younger, the guy got most of the attention. The aim was for him to get off. As a woman, I was mostly along for the ride (no pun intended.) These days I know my body, I know what I like. I want to have an orgasm too!! Not something the men of my youth thought very important. And given the couple of toy boys I’ve had lately…it still seems to be not that important?! Grrr. Does Spencer answer why that happens with younger men?



SPENCER

My first breakthrough in 'old guy sex' was the realization that the most erotic thing in the world to me was seeing, hearing and feeling my wife's sexual arousal. As a young man, it was all about penetration and getting off before the woman came to her senses. Of course I wanted her to be gaga over the experience but I had no idea of the things I needed to do to please a woman. Part of my apprenticeship as an erotic writer has been learning those secrets. It's in my stories, where the woman teaches the man how to please her. That's how I learned. I think men could learn a lot by reading erotic romance-not the stuff of the Penthouse Forum but erotic romance.

So I'm going downhill, losing speed but finding an enjoyment I wish I could have discovered many years ago.

MEG

Do we then undervalue getting older in that we know more what we like, need and desire in sex? For me, would an older man give me more in bed? What’s still sexy to us? The younger Ken dollies don’t do a thing for me. Bland on bland. The 12 pack muscles I find off putting and also bland, boring. I like men with character in their faces and sensuality in their bodies. I look at someone like Morgan Freeman and think, Good lord, you’re a sexy, sensuous, vital looking man. He’s 77…



Spencer and I are both concerned that older romances are not portrayed as much in writing and the big screen. What I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older, is that while I feel a bit more crocky on it, my desires and attitude haven’t aged as much as my birth certificate. I don’t FEEL fifty one or look it. When I read a story about a ‘middle-aged woman’ in her forties or fifties, I am offended. It makes me sound old and grey, lacking in vitality and oomph. Way past my sexual prime with boobs down to my knees or at least my belly button. Okay, I can hold a pencil under them now, but still!! Not at my naval yet!


And I immediately envision someone much older than me as ‘middle-aged.’ More like well…my parents age, but even that doesn’t really cut it these days. My parents are in their sixties and seventies and would out hike me on even given day. They sea kayak and mountain bike for gods sake! About 94 seems ‘old’ these days to me. Age and our perspective on it shifts all the time with our age, and society. We are aging differently than past generations.

So, I like to write about older romances. Henry is 68 and has his life awakened when Izzy steps into his life, taking him from 50 shades of beige into a rainbow smorgasbord of aliveness and love. She opens up his sexuality for the first time in his life. In my gay romances, Rob is 50 and falls in love with Kulani who is 25. I think our sexuality is evolving as human beings.




SPENCER:

Meg: My latest incarnation with writing erotica started at age 62. In the wake of my mother's passing I got to spend a long time alone at her ocean-side cottage and think about my life. There is nothing as healthy and healing as being able so sit by the ocean for long periods of time letting you mind wander. That was a foreign experience to me. My life has always been lived in regretting the past or fearing the future. Caring for my mother required, for the first time in my life, that I live in the present moment.


In the time after her death I noticed a profound change- the sexual urges that had dominated my life and thinking were fading away and I wasn't ready to let them go. I made a decision that I wanted to remain a sexual being until the day I died. So on my daily beach walks I tried to explore every facet of my sex life beginning with my life long enchantment with female allure. It was allure long before it was sexual in nature, but it started with the urges beneath my pants at the sight of a naked woman over a half century ago. According to religion it was evil but the desire was so strong. It was the beginning of a life of hopelessly mixed messages. The great thing about your sixties is you start casting off old taboos like so much dead skin.

MEG

I was lucky enough to grow up in a non-religious country, but even so, I don’t think I hit my sexual stride until my late thirties. And also had mixed messages of a different kind. We simply weren’t encouraged to really look after ourselves in bed, by ourselves or with our men. If we stumbled across an orgasm, we were lucky. The message was be available, be sexual, but don’t ask for much for yourself in the sex department.
Now, moving into my fifties, I not want, but DEMAND an orgasm. My needs have shifted away from just giving pleasure. I want to receive it equally as well. Sex is more of a need in a different way to when I was younger. I want the connection and I want the intense release of an orgasm. I’m in menopause, but have picked up speed. My body feels different. I have a sensuality now I didn’t have when I was younger.

The average man takes between one and ten minutes to reach an orgasm, 
but women can take up to twenty minutes. Male orgasms only last for around four seconds, though, whereas a woman's can last up to fifteen! 

The hard and fast sex bores me to tears. The toy boys annoy me, because they know sex but not sensuality or sexiness. They’re still at the “I have a penis, what else do you need” stage of sex. And they don’t know women’s bodies. They’re very ‘grabby’ and they often hurt. They grab too hard, pinch, squeeze, they’re too rough. Where do they learn this from? It’s not sexy, it’s painful. One recent toy boy (yes, nearly weaned myself off them) told me that the younger women are rough, not sensuous. They bite and scratch. Ugh…



Do we have the advantage of being older? Are we just coming into our prime? I think so.

SPENCER

Men and women have such different sexual needs, triggers and clocks, it amazing we ever get together. I've gotten my self in trouble for saying lesbians have all the fun- no fear of unwanted pregnancy, little risk of STD'S and a partner who understands your sexual rhythms. I have joked to my wife about Viagra commercials, "Now that we can't get it up anymore you finally want it." (incoming!)

There is a lot of complicated stuff here that is presented too simplistically by the bullet point articles of men's and women's magazines. Good sex is a ballet on ice and not a game of hockey It requires lots of trust.

MEG

I agree that it does. I think it also requires experience and a different approach to sex. The slower pace gives me more as a woman. I orgasm more easily and it’s deeper. The fact that I now know my body about a hundred million times better also helps. I know what I like, what turns me on and what doesn’t.


I don’t think I’m aroused slower, but I want the experience to be slower, deeper. I want the sensuality, the kisses, my back rubbed, hair stroked, my skin caressed. I know if I’m not lubricated enough. I want to get rolled in the velvety molten experience of good sex. I don’t want to feel like I’ve been body slammed. Even with slow sensuous sex, I end up with bruises on me. LOL. I always used to end up with one under my chin with my older lover. LOL. I still want to give my men everything, but I expect it back in return. That’s my main difference. I want the sex for ME now.

Making Noise Makes Your Orgasm Better
Turns out, controlling the volume on your sex sounds could be the key to an awesome O. In tantric sex, making high-pitched noises brings sexual energy to your chest, throat, and head, while low-pitched noises bring them down to… well, down there. Switch up your sounds for a full-body orgasm.

Spencer, what’s changed for you as an older male?  

SPENCER

Most notably, getting and staying aroused. My recovery period now is measured in days rather than minutes. Despite the decline, I enjoy sex more now. As I said before, children kill intimacy unless you're fortunate enough to be able to have frequent get-away weekends. 

Now we can take more time. I love doing the massages. I bought a wand vibrator and use it first for full body massage before moving to the arousal zones. We've gone to the adult toy store together to buy lubes, sniggering like teenagers over the assortment of devices. (I recommend going on Sunday so you won't run into your pastor.)

I'm not ready for the blue pill. Those things scare me to death with all the side effects and possible interactions.

MEG

So, in conclusion, let's hear it for testosterone and progesterone cream and good anti-aging medicine. 

We’re still sexy and sexual these days past fifty. We still feel sexy, sensuous, our bodies still response. We’re possibly more sultry, slower, more seductive. It might only happen once a night or every few days, but the desire is still there. The need, the want, he hell yes. We get bolder, we write erotica, we visit sex shops, we wonder if online porn is really that awful. We become more open, we care less about what other people think. We like the Canadian soccer moms who run Coffee and Porn in the morning with their beautiful images they find.   http://cupoporn.blogspot.com/

Orgasms Get Better with Age
Women ages 80 to 99 are more sexually satisfied than younger women, 
according to a study in The American Journal of Medicine




Spencer Dryden and Meg Amor are both erotic romance writers, 
with books available on Amazon and new releases in the New Year. 
They have also been featured in the Good Men Project. 

You can find them on their websites at: 

Spencer Dryden
www.fictionbyspencer.com
or

Meg Amor
www.troikaromance.com