TO S-HAVE OR NOT TO S-HAVE ~ That is the Question? Conversations with Spencer!

TO S-HAVE AND S-HAVE NOT! That is the Question

Aloha everyone!

Meg and Spencer here again in our Conversations with Spencer ramblings. J Thanks to all the readers. We appreciate your following. J

Well, I mentioned that we might look at the whole pubic hair issue this time.

I personally loathe the shaved look. Is it my culture, age group or what? I’m not sure.

I’m fifty-one and a young fifty-one, but it gives me the heebies. My best friend in New Zealand also thinks it’s weird. Most older Kiwis and Australians would find it a wee bit odd. So that suggests cultural to some degree.

What on earth??

Chocolate Kiwis? I've never heard of such a thing??

Until recently, the only people I knew who did it habitually were some gay men to make their penis look bigger. But I have another theory on that. More in a moment. I also had one Danish friend who shaved, but she was slightly younger.

I have spoken to a couple of non-erotica men in different age groups. My toyboy says he doesn’t mind either way, but he shaves because it’s expected of him. It took me DAYS to figure out what was ‘odd’ about his genitalia. LOL. I suddenly thought… Oh, no pubic hair.

Yeah…no! As we say in the old country.

The men I’ve spoken to, say on women it’s because you can see more.

If you spoke to my dad, he’d say, people have an unhealthy psychological, subconscious need to relate to women as little girls. Serious ick factor. And I wonder the same about gay men. Sometimes I think it’s something familiar. A replication of sexual experience at a young age… Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Not very nice. Major icky squicky factor there.

For me personally, it reminds me of little boys’ penises and/or some gay men. Neither of which are my thing sexually. Although, yes, I do like gay sex BUT I like the ones with pubic hair. LOL.

With no pubic hair, men are missing something very sexual for me. That sexy peak of pubic hair as the zipper comes down… Yum.

My best friend in New Zealand says her girls are shaving. She asked them if it was sexual, but they said it was because they wear little panties. How little are these panties I wonder? LOL. And it seems that EVERYONE in their age group does it? They’re 16 and 18.  

How tiny are these panties?

So it is one of those ‘trends,’ that comes and go? Americans in general seem to be more concerned with ‘hygiene’ things. It’s just hair?! So I don’t quite get this one. Are we going to make men shave their armpits next?

And here’s my other thing: some men don’t like shaved armpits. What do we think about that?  My dad (foremost authority on things. LOL) thinks it’s unnatural to not have body hair. Annette his partner, told him to get stuffed, she was not growing 2 inch long leg or underarm hair. LOL. But his ex partner Liz, used to have unshaved pits. I always remember her in a beautiful sparkly red evening dress. Then she lifted her arm for something and I thought… Ohhh. It jarred.

So, is it all culture, the times, personal preference, what?

SPENCER:

I had never thought much about this topic before. My mind immediately went in about five directions at once. Let me try to lasso a few of the rascals to the keyboard.

Isn't pubic hair strange in the first place? Why do we have it? It's so different from other body hair, why did we keep it as we were shedding our other primate hair. (Actually I think I heard we have the same number of hair follicles as the apes but a much different shape and texture.)

MEG:

Weird facts I’ve been reading about:

Pubic hair is often closest in color to the eyebrows. (Everyone's rushing off to have a peak down their jeans...)

A preference for hairless crotch in oneself or in another is known as acomoclitism.(Spencer: sounds like  disease Meg: Snorting with laughter.)

According to the Oxford Companion to the Body, in the 1450s women would shave their pubic hair for personal hygiene and to combat pubic lice and would then don a merkin or pubic wig.
Among the upper class in 19th-century Victorian Britian, pubic hair from one's lover was frequently collected as a souvenir. The curls were, for instance, worn like cockades in men's hats as potency talismans, or exchanged among lovers as tokens of affection.
The museum of St. Andrews University in Scotland has in its collection a snuffbox full of pubic hair of one of King George IV's mistresses.

The Snuff Box with the pubic hair in it. It must have been considered super sexy??! :-) 

Some definitions of pubic looks:

Natural and untrimmed pubic hair. Extends onto thighs.

American wax—hair limited to the bikini area. Also trimmed shorter.

French wax—waxing with a "landing strip". Labia are cleared.

Full Brazilian or the Sphinx—a full waxing. No hair at all.

No one seems to have a clear cut answer as to why we have it. I always thought it had some role in keeping the sex organs warm. Or it could be that they trap and release the pheromones in the body. The same for armpit hair, increasing sexual attraction to a mate. Which makes you wonder then if we’re missing some of our sexuality with the purging of pubic hair.  

And if you’re going to throw the ‘hygiene’ angle at me: Quote: from Emily Gibson in The Guardian. “It is a sadly misconceived war. Long ago, surgeons figured out that shaving a body part prior to surgery actually increased, rather than decreased, surgical site infections.” 

This is backed up by quite a few health care people who are seeing an increase in infections of various kinds, some very nasty, from lack of pubic hair.

Apparently it also helps keep the friction down during sex and one gyno says, that she’s seen some pretty nasty cases of ‘rug burn.’

So all in all…I’m glad to be following my instincts on it.
Regardless of health or anything else, it still turns me off. I find it slightly repulsive and extremely sexually unappealing. All my hero’s either get to grow their pubic hair back or a couple of shaved testicles, but that’s my limit. My men must have a ‘top beard’ as someone put it. J I personally like furry wee balls, rather gorgeous. But you know… that’s one of my kinks. LOL.

SPENCER:

We have already been through my lack of erotic interest in the male figure. Shaving seems to be a requirement of the porno films. I don't know why. (Meg: I think this is the perception that it makes the penis look bigger. I never think it does. It just looks silly to me and like it’s half dressed. Like a man going out in his shirt and tie with socks, and no trousers on. Most peculiar!!!) 

See what I mean? Yes, and not helped by the less than sexy underpants! Agreed. 

My interest is with the ladies. Here I have some recent personal experience.

My very hot wife had her first waxing over a year ago as a surprise for me. I really liked it for a variety of reasons. I'm 64, the decline in my sexual powers is noticeable. I'm not reaching for the blue pill yet, but I'm not the man I was (that's not all bad). Once of my motives for exploring my fascination with sex and the allure of the female via erotic fiction is I want to remain a sexual being. Waxing was stepping way out the box for my wife. The fact that she would do that for me was very touching. A big part of the appeal is that it made her feel sexy. That's good news for me.

My wife is an attractive, curvaceous woman about to turn 59. When people see us together I imagine them saying 'he must be rich'. She is continuously mistaken for someone much younger.  While she is attractive and fit, she has suffered from depression for as long as we have known each other. The demons eat at the self image of the sufferer and the medicine dampens the libido. Anything that makes her feel sexy: lingerie, clothes, shoes, hair, nails, pedicures—I'm for all of it. She claims sex is much more pleasurable without the pubic hair. She's never been able to really express why. Doesn't matter.  Case closed for me. Wax on wax off.

 I have offered to return the favor but she's not interested. I'm good with that.

MEG:

I’m sorry your wife suffers from depression Spencer. That’s such a hard thing to deal with and so more power to you and her, with the shaved look. Could you ask her please why she doesn’t want YOU to shave?

SPENCER: She says she like the feeling against her skin.

MEG: Oh, okay, that’s interesting. I’m trying to think if I like that. Yes, I do actually. And I love the way it looks. Good. So far, I have four women in the world (including myself) who support pubic hair on men. LOL. No, make that five now, we’ll throw in your wife, seeing as she likes it on you. J And I picked up another avid fan on Twitter tonight.

SPENCER:

Sometimes I wonder if it is we erotic writers who have moved the cultural needle toward baring the genitals, especially with women. When was the last time your read a passage that waxed (hee hee) lustfully about a large patch of public hair on a woman? It's all about "her shaved pussy glistening with her love juice." Again from the standpoint of horny guy, it really doesn't matter, if a woman is presenting her sex, we’re in.

MEG:

Me, me! My books have full pubic hair in them. LOL. And my men like them. From Charlie:

‘She’s gorgeous, very voluptuous and has full pubic hair. I must be getting slightly long in the tooth because I don’t like the shaved look. Some of these women look like plucked chickens. It reminds me of fucking a child. Henry and I agree.’

I also recently spoke to Elizabeth Safleur, another romance erotica writer and she ALSO likes pubic hair. Possibly she and I are the ONLY women on the US Continent who feel this way, so I’m not a completely lone voice. LOL (oh, and your wife! Gather the troops!)

SPENCER:

Vagina's are captivating. I'm sorry to say that for most guys, at least of my generation, sex is something that happens under the covers, in the dark with eyes closed. A vagina is a target we hit blindly. We never really see it. We are too close if our partner likes cunnilingus. It's back to our previous discussion(s) of men not really knowing their way around a woman's sexual needs and triggers.

It's not all guys fault. As liberated as we all try to be, women bring a host of negative body issues into the bedroom. If the hang ups that have been foisted upon both men and women aren't enough, throw in children. They kill spontaneity and force sex to late night clandestine activity with the foreplay consisting of a call to "brace yourself". 

MEG:

Yes, well, I’ve always thought children were the perfect form of birth control myself. J

I agree that the opening up of sexuality still has a long way to go. I doubt I really knew what was what, until I got into my forties. Well, that’s a lot of sexual years previously, that it was a largely mysterious affair of both men and women’s working parts. Not good.

Growing up, I doubt many men I went out with had even heard of the clitoris, and they definitely weren’t asking for directions to it. Having a length of time by myself after my second marriage helped me, in that I got brave enough to buy a vibrator. One 'adult ladies a titter' sex toy party and possibly a few too Margaritas at the time and I owned my first vibrator. Now, I feel the same way that Karl Malden did about his Amex card.

I also ended up with my older lover and he was the one that really taught me so much about my own body and what made it hum like a violin.

I have no explanation for the phobia about armpit hair. It seems to be more of an American trait. I like it. It hits of the animal nature we have and supposedly aids in the broadcast of pheromones. I'm all for pheromones. Maybe we wouldn't need the blue pill, if more pheromones were wafting about.

MEG:

Well, it’s worth a thought, isn’t it. I’d like to see more people using bioidentical hormones, replacing what our body is no longer producing. And it seems such a waste to have a low libido when we’re still healthy and active in other ways. I personally am in favor of natural progesterone cream for any women over about 37, when our natural progesterone starts dropping off, not the high level estrogens which are touted. We need progesterone for hormones levels of every kind, not to mention, brain function and healthy brain chemistry etc. But do not get me started on this. Email me if you want to know more about it. Or grab one of John Lee’s books. He’s the God on this stuff.

And for men, testoterone cream, to replace what their body isn’t producing as much of now. (Spencer:Except breasts on men, hair on women and children) Rubbish Spencer. You’re not using half a tube at a time. You’re using a teaspoon or so. The normal amount the body used to produce and isn’t any more!! And about a million times healthy than the blue pill. Proper amounts of bioidentical hormones keep people young, active and vital. Good for mens body health, mental and emotional health) Nothing weird or steroidy in any of this. Just things that we’re being depleted of. Like not getting enough thyroid or insulin. Our bodies NEED it to stay healthy, active and alive.

End of lecture from me! LOL.

Okay, have we brought about world peace, solved an existential crisis, or worked out how to get to Venus and back… No. But it’s been fun nonetheless. LOL. We’re always looking for new topics to poke around in. So if anyone ever wants to write in and suggest one, go ahead. We’ll definitely consider it. J

On our next Conversations with Spencer, we thought we might er…tackle…the question of penis size. Does it matter? To whom? Do people ever tell the truth when asked questions like “Am I big enough for you?” And other er…lengthy questions. 

Okay, I’ll acting the goat, but it’s an interesting subject anyway. And a very male subject to some degree.

Thanks for coming over and visiting us once again, listening to our ramblings on love, sex and relationships.


Aloha, until next time. Meg and Spencer. J