Saturday, October 25, 2014

EXCITABLE ME - says NO to prejudice!!!

Aloha everyone!

I thought it was time to embrace my inner French Poodle. Someone called me something today which hurt me. And I realized I’d been called that in various forms over the years, often the tone is condescending. I’ve been called ‘excitable.’ I’ve been likened to ‘one of those yappy excitable French Poodles.’ Yeah, didn’t exactly grab me as a compliment at the time either, given the tone and context.

I decided to go and poke around in it today as it really made me cry. I shouldn’t have let it hurt me, but it did. Someone I like, basically rubber stamping me with ‘that’ label. It makes me feel like an idiot and stupid. And not very likable.

I always feel like I have to ‘calm down,’ run my emotional register at a quarter speed for other people’s sensibilities. And you know what? I’m sick of it. I’m done. I don’t want to do that anymore. If you don’t like me being excitable or enthusiastic, passionate, outraged, deeply caring, incensed, angry, wildly happy for you, et cetera – then there’s the door. Don’t let it hit you on the way out.

Some facts about the French Poodle:

They have very affectionate natures.

I love deeply, badly, madly, gladly. I love on a deep soul searing level that’s given me some incredible connections over the years. When people say things like: Men don’t do that, men don’t feel that, Men don’t… That’s just a fairy tale type of relationship. Nobody calls their lover sweet names all the time. No one touches deeply all the time. Men don’t express themselves deeply or well. They don’t cry… Well… they do. I’ve been there, I write about what I’ve done. I write about the men I love and which sometimes other people view as fairytalish and not real. They’re real, you just have to believe in the magic.

I don’t do mediocre. I don’t do ‘normal.’ TM. Or boring. I don’t do ordinary. I love with a blazing passion. I’m affectionate and kind. I care. I love to the depths of my soul. I cry. I feel deeply. I get angry. So… sue me.

French poodles have big brains.

Because I am exuberant, people mistake me for a ‘ditzy blitzy.’ Do you know how many times people have said to me over my life time, “You know, you’re really quite intelligent.” I used to take this as a compliment, now I raise my eyebrows at them and think, “Just worked that out, have you? Hmmm?” Apparently you can’t be all sorts of things. If you’re intelligent, you have to be quieter, staider, more ‘regal’ or something. You can’t be ‘excitable’ or noisy or wildly passionate. Although you can be intense, but only in a ‘quiet’ way. So I am neither accepted by the academic crowd nor the other crowd. I don’t fit anywhere and sometimes I’d like to. It can get a bit lonely. I enjoy intelligent deep conversations with people. Don’t write me off because I have red hair, a big smile and an exuberant nature.

Despite appearances, I am a candidate for Mensa with an IQ at 132.

Sometimes I don’t seem that tied down. Or I forget things. I miss out words. I get words or meanings around the wrong way. I get ‘excitable.’

Despite appearances, I’m slightly dyslexic. My brain often runs faster than the rest of me and things get jumbled.

Poodles are loving, outgoing, intelligent dogs who are always up for an adventure, but they love snuggle time, too. 

And really… that does describe me.

I am really loving, outgoing (although a strong introvert), intelligent. I love adventures. Boredom is one of my greatest enemies. I love to snuggle and cuddle up with someone. So maybe I’m not all bad. I’m just different. Complex and unusual.

And that is often not very accepted in this world where ‘sameyness’ has taken on new levels of ‘goodness.’ And god forbid, that any of us should not follow the norm. Be it that we’re ‘excitable’ or live in a tepee or are gay or black or any other thing that everyone has issues with. And these past few weeks we have seen the wonderful avalanche of gay marriage becoming legal across the the States. It's wonderful. :-) I shout YES!!! every time a new state goes up on the map. :-) 

I mourn the eccentrics of old, the mad, wonderful people who are my heroes. Who just didn’t conform and saw the world in a completely different way. Andrew Newton confirms what Weeks research discovered that: eccentrics are self-opinionated, intelligent, questioning, non-conforming, outspoken, and have a tendency to become obsessed with one or more hobby-horses. They sound wonderful to me.

A couple of fun eccentrics:

As an adult, Berners became a relatively good composer and writer – and an extremely eccentric man. He had the pigeons at his stately home dyed in a variety of colors and he kept a pet giraffe with which he would have afternoon tea regularly. His chauffeur had to fit his Rolls Royce out with a harpsichord so Berners could play music whilst being driven around the countryside. He left his estate to his much younger companion, the equally eccentric Robert Heber-Percy.

Oscar Wilde is undoubtedly the most famous member of this list – and for good reason. During a time of moral conservatism, Wilde managed to survive his youth decked out in flamboyant clothing exuding eccentricity, because of his stunning wit – the true cause of his celebrity. While studying at Oxford University, Oscar would walk through the streets with a lobster on a leash. His room was decorated with bright blue china, sunflowers, and peacock feathers. He was the direct opposite of what Victorian England expected a man to be and he flaunted it for all he was worth. Unfortunately an affair with Lord Alfred Douglas brought an end to a brilliant career when Wilde was jailed for sodomy.

Which brings me to something I wanted to highlight today as well, thanks to the writer, Cody Kennedy who invited us into this story. And again, it’s about appearances and judgments that are made on the outside. Late last night, I read a heartwarming and heart breaking story about a young man called Timmy Ashton whose story is now being told—thank goodness. He tells it himself and he’s emotionally intelligent, bright, interesting, kind, caring. He has a lovely sweetness and genuine quality to him.

He’s also gay, has a speech impediment and been horrifically bullied in his life.

He’s 13 this weekend and it’s the first time he’s ever celebrated his birthday. Or had anyone celebrate it. He also has a new family who love and care for him very much.  

Thank God. Because even writing that, brings tears to my eyes.     

This story of Timmy Ashton’s is the story I read that touched me so deeply, that when I woke up today, I was still thinking about it. Please read it, be aware, have a voice, say no to bullying, racism, sexism, homophobia and any prejudice.

Three times this week, I’ve been ‘told off’ for standing up for things. For saying, I hate this. For saying out loud, it’s wrong. Or this pisses me off or makes me angry. For saying, NO, to racism, sexism, homophobia.

God, I love this man... :-) 

Do I really think it’s okay for anyone to say, ‘Why don’t all the blacks go back to Africa? The Jews to Israel. And the Hispanics to Mexico?’ No. I do not. I reported someone on GR’s for this comment. I was so angry. GR’s actually took it down, which surprised me. How the hell will anyone know that the whole world does not think in that tiny minute little mindset of prejudice if we don’t say anything? If we keep quiet and ‘just go about our business.’ How will people know it’s not acceptable? Often people don’t find something okay, but are too afraid to say anything. The loudest voice in a group is taken as the voice of everyone. And yet, it often isn’t. We need to say no more often.  

Rosa Parks said no on a Montgomery bus in 1955.

55 odd years later, in 2008, Morgan Freeman paid for and organized the FIRST ever INTEGRATED Prom in his hometown of Charleston, MS. And was it welcomed with open arms? No, it wasn’t. In this day and age, there were still people who weren’t happy about it which I find shameful. But it did happen... 


The U.S. Supreme Court orders the integration of all segregated schools in America, including all their events.

The U.S. Supreme Court orders the integration of all segregated schools in America, including all their events.


The town of Charleston, Mississippi, finally allows black students into their one high school. White parents refuse to integrate the school Graduation Dance, starting a tradition of separate, parent-organized White Proms and Black Proms.

The town of Charleston, Mississippi, finally allows black students into their one high school. White parents refuse to integrate the school Graduation Dance, starting a tradition of separate, parent-organized White Proms and Black Proms.


Change happens.

Change happens.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. died on April 4th 1968. He was assassinated at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, TN, the city of Morgan Freeman’s birth. I was born 5 years earlier on April 4th 1963.

These people are ALL my heroes because they said no. They stood up for what they believed in. They didn’t take bullying or public opinion as the status quo. They spoke out. They did something.

Were they unexcitable people? I don’t think so.

As a nice way to say Happy Birthday to Timmy, who is an inspiration to me and many others, go and support the rise-against-bullying in some way—the, You Will Rise Project. They have some really neat stuff you can buy to support this.

And to make my day, I just received an email saying that Cody loved me ‘singing’ to Timmy for his birthday on fb. J Thanks Cody and Timmy!!! You made my day. Excitable Me – says YES!!!

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