Aloha everyone!
I thought it was
time to embrace my inner French Poodle. Someone called me something today which
hurt me. And I realized I’d been called that in various forms over the years,
often the tone is condescending. I’ve been called ‘excitable.’ I’ve been
likened to ‘one of those yappy excitable French Poodles.’ Yeah, didn’t exactly
grab me as a compliment at the time either, given the tone and context.
I decided to go
and poke around in it today as it really made me cry. I shouldn’t have let it
hurt me, but it did. Someone I like, basically rubber stamping me with ‘that’
label. It makes me feel like an idiot and stupid. And not very likable.
I always feel
like I have to ‘calm down,’ run my emotional register at a quarter speed for
other people’s sensibilities. And you know what? I’m sick of it. I’m done. I
don’t want to do that anymore. If you don’t like me being excitable or
enthusiastic, passionate, outraged, deeply caring, incensed, angry, wildly
happy for you, et cetera – then there’s the door. Don’t let it hit you on the
way out.
Some facts about
the French Poodle:
They have very
affectionate natures.
I love deeply,
badly, madly, gladly. I love on a deep soul searing level that’s given me some
incredible connections over the years. When people say things like: Men don’t
do that, men don’t feel that, Men don’t… That’s just a fairy tale type of
relationship. Nobody calls their lover sweet names all the time. No one touches
deeply all the time. Men don’t express themselves deeply or well. They don’t
cry… Well… they do. I’ve been there, I write about what I’ve done. I write
about the men I love and which sometimes other people view as fairytalish and
not real. They’re real, you just have to believe in the magic.
I don’t do mediocre.
I don’t do ‘normal.’ TM. Or boring. I don’t do ordinary. I love with a blazing
passion. I’m affectionate and kind. I care. I love to the depths of my soul. I
cry. I feel deeply. I get angry. So… sue me.
French poodles
have big brains.
Because I am
exuberant, people mistake me for a ‘ditzy blitzy.’ Do you know how many times
people have said to me over my life time, “You know, you’re really quite
intelligent.” I used to take this as a compliment, now I raise my eyebrows at
them and think, “Just worked that out, have you? Hmmm?” Apparently you can’t be
all sorts of things. If you’re intelligent, you have to be quieter, staider,
more ‘regal’ or something. You can’t be ‘excitable’ or noisy or wildly
passionate. Although you can be intense, but only in a ‘quiet’ way. So I am
neither accepted by the academic crowd nor the other crowd. I don’t fit
anywhere and sometimes I’d like to. It can get a bit lonely. I enjoy
intelligent deep conversations with people. Don’t write me off because I have
red hair, a big smile and an exuberant nature.
Despite
appearances, I am a candidate for Mensa with an IQ at 132.
Sometimes I don’t
seem that tied down. Or I forget things. I miss out words. I get words or
meanings around the wrong way. I get ‘excitable.’
Despite
appearances, I’m slightly dyslexic. My brain often runs faster than the rest of
me and things get jumbled.
Poodles are loving, outgoing,
intelligent dogs who are always up for an adventure, but they love snuggle
time, too.
And really… that does describe me.
I am really loving, outgoing (although a strong introvert),
intelligent. I love adventures. Boredom is one of my greatest enemies. I love
to snuggle and cuddle up with someone. So maybe I’m not all bad. I’m just
different. Complex and unusual.
And that is often not very accepted in this world where ‘sameyness’
has taken on new levels of ‘goodness.’ And god forbid, that any of us should
not follow the norm. Be it that we’re ‘excitable’ or live in a tepee or are gay
or black or any other thing that everyone has issues with. And these past few weeks we have seen the wonderful avalanche of gay marriage becoming legal across the the States. It's wonderful. :-) I shout YES!!! every time a new state goes up on the map. :-)
I mourn the eccentrics of old, the mad, wonderful people who are
my heroes. Who just didn’t conform and saw the world in a completely different
way. Andrew Newton confirms what Weeks research discovered that: eccentrics are
self-opinionated, intelligent, questioning, non-conforming, outspoken, and have
a tendency to become obsessed with one or more hobby-horses. They sound
wonderful to me.
A couple of fun eccentrics:
As an adult, Berners became a relatively
good composer and writer – and an extremely eccentric man. He had the pigeons
at his stately home dyed in a variety of colors and he kept a pet giraffe with
which he would have afternoon tea regularly. His chauffeur had to fit his Rolls
Royce out with a harpsichord so Berners could play music whilst being driven
around the countryside. He left his estate to his much younger companion, the
equally eccentric Robert Heber-Percy.
Oscar Wilde is undoubtedly the most
famous member of this list – and for good reason. During a time of moral
conservatism, Wilde managed to survive his youth decked out in flamboyant
clothing exuding eccentricity, because of his stunning wit – the true cause of
his celebrity. While studying at Oxford University, Oscar would walk through
the streets with a lobster on a leash. His room was decorated with bright blue
china, sunflowers, and peacock feathers. He was the direct opposite of what
Victorian England expected a man to be and he flaunted it for all he was worth.
Unfortunately an affair with Lord Alfred Douglas brought an end to a brilliant
career when Wilde was jailed for sodomy.
Which brings me
to something I wanted to highlight today as well, thanks to the writer, Cody Kennedy
who invited us into this story. And again, it’s about appearances and judgments
that are made on the outside. Late last night, I read a heartwarming and heart
breaking story about a young man called Timmy Ashton whose story is now being told—thank
goodness. He tells it himself and he’s emotionally intelligent, bright,
interesting, kind, caring. He has a lovely sweetness and genuine quality to him.
He’s also gay, has a speech impediment and been horrifically bullied
in his life.
He’s 13 this
weekend and it’s the first time he’s ever celebrated his birthday. Or had
anyone celebrate it. He also has a new family who love and care for him very much.
Thank God. Because even writing that, brings tears to my eyes.
This story of Timmy Ashton’s is the story I read that touched me
so deeply, that when I woke up today, I was still thinking about it. Please
read it, be aware, have a voice, say no to bullying, racism, sexism, homophobia
and any prejudice.
Three times this
week, I’ve been ‘told off’ for standing up for things. For saying, I hate this.
For saying out loud, it’s wrong. Or this pisses me off or makes me angry. For
saying, NO, to racism, sexism, homophobia.
 |
| God, I love this man... :-) |
Do I really think
it’s okay for anyone to say, ‘Why don’t all the blacks go back to Africa? The
Jews to Israel. And the Hispanics to Mexico?’ No. I do not. I reported someone
on GR’s for this comment. I was so angry. GR’s actually took it down, which
surprised me. How the hell will anyone know that the whole world does not think
in that tiny minute little mindset of prejudice if we don’t say anything? If we
keep quiet and ‘just go about our business.’ How will people know it’s not
acceptable? Often people don’t find something okay, but are too afraid to say
anything. The loudest voice in a group is taken as the voice of everyone. And
yet, it often isn’t. We need to say no more often.
Rosa Parks said
no on a Montgomery bus in 1955.
55 odd years
later, in 2008, Morgan Freeman paid for and organized the FIRST ever INTEGRATED Prom in his
hometown of Charleston, MS. And was it welcomed with open arms? No, it wasn’t.
In this day and age, there were still people who weren’t happy about it which I
find shameful. But it did happen...
http://www.promnightinmississippi.com/the-film
1954
The U.S. Supreme Court orders the integration of all segregated schools in America, including all their events.
The U.S. Supreme Court orders the integration of all segregated schools in America, including all their events.
1970
The town of Charleston, Mississippi, finally allows black students into their one high school. White parents refuse to integrate the school Graduation Dance, starting a tradition of separate, parent-organized White Proms and Black Proms.
The town of Charleston, Mississippi, finally allows black students into their one high school. White parents refuse to integrate the school Graduation Dance, starting a tradition of separate, parent-organized White Proms and Black Proms.
2008
Change happens.
Change happens.
Dr. Martin Luther
King Jr. died on April 4th 1968. He was assassinated at the Lorraine
Motel in Memphis, TN, the city of Morgan Freeman’s birth. I was born 5 years
earlier on April 4th 1963.
These people are
ALL my heroes because they said no. They stood up for what they believed in.
They didn’t take bullying or public opinion as the status quo. They spoke out.
They did something.
Were they
unexcitable people? I don’t think so.
As a nice way to
say Happy Birthday to Timmy, who is an inspiration to me and many others, go
and support the rise-against-bullying in some way—the, You Will Rise
Project. They have some really neat stuff you can buy to support this. http://society6.com/youwillriseproject/rise-against-bullying-by-lili#1=45
And to make my day, I just received an email saying
that Cody loved me ‘singing’ to Timmy for his birthday on fb. J Thanks Cody and Timmy!!!
You made my day. Excitable Me – says YES!!!
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